you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
Randomize
