rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
Randomize
