why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
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