Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
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