I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
Randomize
