i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
So much Jack, so little girl.
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
We smell like vodka and hangover
Randomize
