Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
