I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
Randomize
