ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
Randomize
