TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
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I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
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