I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
Randomize
