One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
Randomize
