Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
Randomize
