that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
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THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
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Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.