i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
John Mayer's mother should have swallowed him when she had the chance.
As in blowjob or cannibalism?
I was thinking blowjob, but either would've been a better idea than giving him a record deal.
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him