after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
I wish drunk me came with subtitles