And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
Randomize
