Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
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