from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
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