An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
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