he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
Randomize
