I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
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