I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
Randomize
