i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
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