It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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