it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Randomize
