cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
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