The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
you texted me last night and told me you couldn't find the toilet.
That explains the puddle of pee in my closet.
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
Randomize
