i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Randomize
