Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
Randomize
