Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
Best friends brother. Beat that.
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
I'm like, not good at living.
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Randomize
