glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
Randomize
