YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
Randomize
