I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
