I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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