Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
He is an equal opportunity slut.
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Randomize
