Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
