I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
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you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
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The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
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