If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
I'm passing your future prison.
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
Randomize
