god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
Randomize
