He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
I didn't notice because vodka
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
Randomize
