she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
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