just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Randomize
