I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
I pour the whiskey from now on
Randomize
