I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
Randomize
