I don't remember. Are we still dating?
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
Everyone says I win the strip club
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
Randomize
