Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
Randomize
