weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Randomize
