I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
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