I hate all girls vehemently.
I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
Randomize
