i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Randomize