You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
Randomize
