I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
Dick very happy bro
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
Randomize
