Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
Randomize
