In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
I understand Curling. That high.
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
40s are totally the cure
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
Randomize
