Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
We left the knife in your bed.
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
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