first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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