does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
Alive.
So much puke
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
