Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
Randomize
