I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
Randomize
